Mistress Alexxxia
by on June 7, 2018

For all I know, this topic has probably been poked at about a thousand times in all areas of the BDSM kink communities, but I still feel the need to keep it fresh in the minds of others because it is such a valuable lesson. With the rapid growth of those in kink, especially the female end, it would be ideal for everyone to have plenty of knowledge on the world they're stepping into. However, the sad fact of the matter is that it isn't true. By the time a few videos have been watched, and maybe one or two articles have been skimmed, it's so quick to get into the mental high of, "free money? I'm in!" Financial domination is so much more than that, and over the years has become a multi-faceted kink on both the Dominant and submissive ends. 

It is never as easy as the do-nothing-get-everything exchange that so many see it to be. It can very rarely be that easy, and most likely is if you are well established already and have been working at expanding and refining yourself. Those who are in it just for the money fade out fast. That's the reality of it. Financial domination is a psychologic trip for a Domme as well as a sub. The sub may give up power, but the Domme needs to find the areas to target to get him to do it in the first place. It is a mindfuck. It is the refining of kinks, your speech, your image, your brand, and your content. It is rediscovering how men tick and how to utilize their submissive triggers. It's been said a million times: "Fuck you, pay me" is damn ineffective, especially when no other effort is put into it.

I've learned this well from another Domme I follow and one I greatly respect, Mixtrix: if you are into domination just for the money, you won't enjoy it and you will phase out before you know it. I personally couldn't agree more. While financial domination is, obviously, money-centric, if you don't learn the dominance in you and harness it well, the money won't come. If you don't truly enjoy domination outside of the cash, then why bother? At least a smidge of our personas are a role we play, but it is incredibly hard if you were once fully submissive and decide to be a Domme. In fact, if you were once fully submissive, you won't fool anyone trying to act Dominant. Being Dominant is a part of you that naturally courses through your blood, or something you build and perfect and learn. 

I happen to be the latter. I came into the findom world as a switch with submissive leanings, after being the long-term sub of a once good friend. It was more than just research, which I alotted at least a month into doing. It was a trip of self-discovery. It was a lot of frustration, and a lot of stumbling. Even though I started to feel more natural as a Domme from the first online session, the switch had yet to turn fully on. My potential flickered, but didn't yet shine, and each tribute meant only an additional spark and nothing more. I had to continue to learn, to push, to harness my confidence, and see my potential. I had to make full use of what I had and what I was best at. And most of that work? It's not something you get salaried or hourly pay to do. You learn on your own time and your own dime in the beginning.

While the solely money-only "Dommes" will fizzle out on their own, I owe it to them and myself to spread what I know for those who started out as wanting to make a quick buck and are starting to learn the nature of having this complicated of a role. And ladies, don't even get me started on owning subs. If you're not 100% confident you are emotionally prepared for simple online sessioning, you are not prepared to own another human being, no matter how fat the wallet. A human being has needs, has limits, has a brain and emotions and priorities. Disregarding all of this and only reaching for that wallet is abuse, plain and simple. "But what if they say they have no limits?" Still abuse. It's sometimes up to you to cut them off before serious damage can be done. You'd think that grown men can control their own actions, and many can, but remember that financial domination can still be an addiction. If you own a sub, they are entrusting you with quite a bit. Do them a kindness and consider all they could really lose, and all they need to keep to be a surviving human being. 

So if I were to make a long story short: be in financial domination for both the enjoyment of power as well as the enjoyment of cash. The two together take a bit of work to maintain, but when well-kept, they are a sexy, intoxicating cocktail. If the money is your sole reason, enjoyment, and drive, you will not want to remain a Domme. Learn who you are and what else you can derive from this rather intense kink before jumping in. I promise in the long run, it'll be worth it.