by on January 4, 2019

Ok i wonder why slaves don't come to or talk in chat so i made a small poll just for a few results. Id like to say a few things FIRST. Our Moderator Miss Back Alley runs chat VERY well. Chat has gotten to REALLY bad points in the past but is VERY well run now. Our Verifiers Liv and Aeval are also very helpful. The Dommes ALSO keep things good in chat, which is great. 

A note before we get into the breakdown.

I come from a Lifestyle BDSM background BEFORE Findom. So my learnings may be different from what many in Findom believe. a couple of things

1.Submissives are  not trash or pieces of shit that should be beat down at all times because they are submissive. Slaves are a valuable part of a D/s relationship.

2. Not all subs are into being humiliated or spoken down to.

That being said I will address these one by one.


Im just shy or I like to observe

There are a lot of Dommes talking and I dont want to interrupt

( I think this can be remedied if we welcome the slaves and engage them. ) Yes I think engaging is ok and its not beneath ANY Domme to welcome a slave and discuss. 15 Dommes and a slave can be intimidating. Its ok to welcome them. i dont think anyone will think any less of a Domme for that.)


I feel like if I talk I will have to tribute a Domme or Dommes

( this was the most votes and I dont understand why as I dont see a lot of tribute talk in chat. not sure how to fix this one )


There isnt enough Fetish or talk about Financial Domination

( this is pretty much a domme hang out room at this point and Fetish talk all day would be boring. Maybe we can have certain days we have a topic we discuss )


It is too hostile in chat

( I dont see much of this but what I do see is subs being spoken down to at times automatically because they are a sub. This sometimes happens when a new slave joins and may not be very well versed in Femdom. Meaning they are a bit rough around the edges )

I want to address this one as I think we can get more subs in chat and have them be active. I get that the Dommes want to talk but we are also here to talk to submissive members, crazy idea I know, lol. I will be making some chat etiquette page like we had before. My goal is for new slaves ( even if they are rough at first ) to have the opportunity to learn. When one member berates another member because they feel hes a sub and below them Or maybe makes an uneducated comment ( im not talking about a troll slamming Dommes ) that we educate them to the etiquette or let them know we dont speak to Dommes like that. This also refers to my 2 points above about my origins.


Yes submissives should show respect to Dommes first, however I do not agree with slaves having to respect anyone that is slamming them first just because they are sub ( unless they indicate they are into it OR the domme owns the slave ). My way of running this site has ALWAYS been, we ALL have a certain amount of respect for each other and UNLESS you own the slave then slamming them for being submissive is not what Im about. Yes submissives are still on the bottom but anyone can just treat subs like shit all day.........I think we can be more dimentional than that.


I get that many in Findom may feel submissives are shit and dont deserve any rights. this is not what this site is about and never has been....So I will be working on some simple etiquette for ALL members. Just something we can see so we can improve chat. I have seen a slave say a simple polite comment and then get slammed by Dommes, then more come in and jump on. A NEW member will leave and other slaves in chat will witness that and will NEVER speak in chat. why would they? 

After all of the above, believe it or not I think chat is great and the members are awesome. im not going to make any crazy rules so no worries. I am working to get slaves in chat and want to make sure they are welcome. Any subs that come in talking shit are gone quick so this isnt a mandate for subs to go ham in chat...