by on September 5, 2019

I've been biting My tongue long enough and of this all needs to be said. I've seen the scene change a lot over the last few years due to the mainstream medias exposure and inaccurate portrayal of our lifestyle and community to the vanilla World, and enough is enough.


If your goal as a FinDomme is to use a sub solely for your own personal gain you need to get the fuck out of this community. 


(If your goal as a sub is to cause (non-fantasy) serious self harm, to be destroyed or even bankrupted please get mental help as the Findom community is currently dangerous for someone who is on a destructive path. Again please get help before it's too late.)

A D/s relationship is supposed to be mutually beneficial. Behind the sub is a human with basic needs. Bankrupting and ruining subs is a sickness. Stop.🛑

Yes, My finsubs hand over complete control but it's about being responsible with your subs life. Some subs can afford to send $1000+ a week and not have their livelihood harmfully impacted, others can only send $100. It's not about the amount. It's all about sustainability and the true sacrifce.

As a responsible FinDomme I would never let it get to the point where My subs card was declined and he couldn't pay for necessities, that's just irresponsible. Nor would I take on a sub who wasn't capable of keeping up with My lifestyle.

subs may ask to be ruined and "bankrupted" but for most it's a role play fantasy. Those of you that take it literally need to get your heads checked. What both parties get off on is CONTROL. It's a mental component. Any Domme who wants to seriously harm someone isn't a Domme.




A D/s relationship is amazing when boundaries are in place. 

A D/s relationship should shape a sub into a better human and sub.

A D/s relationship requires a lot of trust to thrive.

A D/s relationship shouldn't leave any sub homeless, broke or unable to pay for food. 
Only a sociopath would allow their sub to end up in such a state.

If you're triggered by this post you are part of the toxicity that has been plaguing this community. Stop calling yourself a "domme" because you saw someone making money on tv, this isn't a side hustle or a way to get rich quick, pick up a book, and truly immerse yourself in the community, follow respected Dommes and see the reality of what this community and lifestyle means to us before you end up seriously harming someone and being part of the reason why the Findom community keeps getting less and less respect.

Being a well rounded Domme takes YEARS of training, and the learning never stops, "Domme" is not just a title that you just pick up, throw in front of your name and then demand the respect of EVERY sub you see. (Pay this SUPERIOR GODDESS loser piggies.") (Oh and NEWSFLASH all fetishwear isn't Domme attire, playing dressup and wearing submissive clothing/accessories and demanding respect makes you look ridiculous. Excuse Me, but your ignorance and inexperience is showing.) After years of being in the scene I'm STILL learning. Respect needs to be earned. Believe it or not being a woman isn't enough.  Reality check, there are shitty men and women in this World. And shitty, careless women won't get respect.

If you're someone who's popping on the scene without doing any research take a beat and learn your craft. Acting like you have experience when in reality you don't have any, can seriously end up harming yourself or even subs. People will almost always be hurt or taken advantage of in these situations. This isn't a game. Findom is a respected lifestyle. Stop taking away the respect in our community with your ignorance, know it all attitudes, inexperience. These are peoples lives that you're playing with.

Successful Dommes CARE for their subs.
Successful Dommes don't let their subs seriously harm themselves.
Successful Dommes ensure both parties in a D/s thrive.
Successful Dommes mindfuck subs, they control their subs in an enjoyable manner, but don't mentally destroy them to the point of being able to not care for themselves or their family.

If it stops being enjoyable for the sub and his mental health is seriously declining make sure that they get help and back off. No amount of money no mattter how large can justify the cost of someones life.

Haters will always tell Me I'm wrong, to mind My own business, and blah, blah, blah, but I LOVE My community, and I'm sick of all the bullshit that's being encouraged as of late.  Karma is a bitch, destroying peoples lives will eventually come back to bite you. 

In the meantime, I'll be here building My empire with My happy, devoted, thriving subs.